just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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