You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
