he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
There are leaves in my underwear?
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