so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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