can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
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