My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Randomize
