I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
