A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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