I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
