HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
