U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize