where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
