i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
