Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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