OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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