I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize