she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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