All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
