hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
