Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
two words...techno handjob
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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