omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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