you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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