I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
