oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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