Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
accomplished twins. life is a go
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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