i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
