she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
