You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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