You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
