in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
