His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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