awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize