i think i have two assholes
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
