The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
