In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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