no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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