Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
