this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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