i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
