I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
