He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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