I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
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you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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