How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
please come you make the beer taste better
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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