your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
