I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
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we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
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I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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