There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
this will be a night to untag.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
