woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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