You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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