haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
