I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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