I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize