It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
