How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
