I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
