I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize