No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize