Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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