Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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