she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
