If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize