I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
